He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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