I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
