just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
