I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
