i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
