Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
