I just made out with a guy for $7.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
