My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
don't judge my taste in strippers
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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