dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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