could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
