Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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