I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
