We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
