watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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