then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
