remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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