That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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