just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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