i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i would punch a child for taco bell
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
