I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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