Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize