Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
