I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
