You just made me feel so damn special
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
