You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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