We're facebook friends in real life
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
