Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
