i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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