True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
and you fell through a lawn chair
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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