wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
