whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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