I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
