Me too!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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