she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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