why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
