I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
