I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
