So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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