Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
