The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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