Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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