TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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