those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
