I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
