Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
