We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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