How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
