Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
