Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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