Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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