A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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