hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
