If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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