32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
either way he was missing a nipple.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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