where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
