i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
