Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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