i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
