I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
