so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
