Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
